A short article “Premarital sex is fine, say 90% teens” that appeared in Bangalore Times, dated July 4, 2010 set me thinking. (Forgive me Father, for I have sinned; I used the s-word.) As part of the promotion exercise of the film Udaan, its producers conducted an online survey of 1004 urban respondents aged between 12 and 19, of which 77% were boys. The responses include the following interesting statistics: 50% have kissed someone of the opposite sex; an equal number have stolen money from their parents; 20% have got intimate in the bathroom and 90% of teens think premarital sex is fine. The last statistic is the causing me sleepless nights.
Within a fortnight another article appears in the same Bangalore Times, dated July 20, 2010 with the heading “Dating it Right”. Here we have reports of another decadent Western practice, ‘dating’, fast becoming common place in India. When we were growing up, ‘date’ was a noun; these days it has also become a verb ‘dating’, involving certain acts that in the good old days (oh, how I miss them!) would lead you to hell, unless you repented and confessed. This article contained some statements totally going against the traditional teachings of the Catholic Church. Sample the following from a 24 year old girl:
“Why would I want to get married, when I can date, or get into a live-in relationship? Marriage for many is about legalized sex. I don’t have to get married to satisfy a physical urge”. (Vandana Saxena)
Last year the South Indian actress Kushboo caused a mini moral tsunami when she stated in an interview that it
“…was fine for girls to indulge in pre-marital sex after taking precautions to keep unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases at bay” and that “no educated man could expect his partner to be a virgin.”
The Indian male, highly strung by this assault on his age-old right to a virgin bride dragged her to courts through the length and breadth of the land until the Supreme Court came to her rescue.
A number of questions rush to mind. Is this the beginning of the end of ‘Indian Culture’ as we know it? Is the concept of ‘virgin bride’ becoming obsolete? Is the Indian society moving from the ‘license Raj’ to a ‘licentious’ Raj? How can religious leaders, the self-proclaimed guardians of morals, allow this slide into moral chaos and degradation? Where will all this leading to? Won’t there be hundreds, nay thousands of unwanted school/college girl pregnancies? Will schools and colleges have to make provision of maternity rooms and day-care centers and time outs for feeding and nappy changes? Won’t this emerging trend also lead to a rise in PDA (public display of affection, for those not familiar with Indian legalese acronyms) – holding hands, hugging and long smooching (God forbid!) – leading to high BP and heart attacks in desi Mother Grundys?
This viral infection is percolating fast, though subtly, even to the remotest corners of the land (that is going to the dogs), thanks to the media. What has the Catholic Church, including the spiritual leadership of our Knanaya community doing to stop the spread of the twin heretical disease of ‘dating’ and ‘premarital sex? (Oops! I forgot. We were busy organizing and leading protest marches against the unfair, unjust and politically motivated arrest of the totally and absolutely innocent accused in the Abhaya case and fundraising for the same.)
This permissive virus will not leave the Knanaya youth unaffected. The leadership of the community must act with alacrity to stem the rot. There are many unsavory things going on in the metros that the Knanaya parents living in the rural areas of central Kerala and Malabar are unaware of. They send their wards to the big bad metros – Bangalore, Bombay, Delhi etc. – for higher studies and work. These children have been protected while at home like animals in a zoo. Barely six months after their arrival in the metros there is total metamorphism in their thinking and behavior.
Some of them manage to juggle two or three partners simultaneously. This means for the girls two or three cell phones, eating Colonel’s Kentucky chicken by bucket-loads and free daily movies, not to mention the ‘unmentionables’. Others get into live-in relationships under the pretext of cost cutting. The naive parents back home continue to believe their children to be the same church going, morally upright and innocent boys and girls. It is imperative that the parents and senior members of the Knanaya Community are made aware of this dangerous development among unmarried youth.
Some parents abroad, especially in the liberal US and Europe, think of leaving those permissive societies and returning to India so that their children can grow up imbibing the Indian culture (read sexually strict culture). In the light of the survey, I am reminded of the saying pata petichu panthalathu..
There is a lesson in all this for the Knanaya community. It is time for reverse migration. In 345 AD our ancestors migrated to Kerala with the prime aim of evangelizing the Kerala heathens and to do a bit of trade on the side; it is time we in Kerala start migrating back, not necessarily to where our ancestors came from, the region in and around Iraq, as that country is in ruins now. Rather, let us go to US, Canada, countries in Europe, Singapore etc. where there is true democracy, little corruption and the icing on the cake, plenty of money. And those who are already in these countries make sure you abandon all thoughts of returning to India which is becoming permissive. Stay put. Like there, here too teens think dating and preteen sex is fine.
Of course there are many more solid reasons for leaving Kerala; inter alia: Rising religious fundamentalism; poor education system based on memorization and reproduction; leading state in India for alcoholism, road accidents and suicides; over politicization, bandhs and harthals; dog in the manger policy towards job creation; the arrogant and lazy nature of the Keralite; environmental prostitution for the benefit of the well-connected; the widening gap between the rich and the poor; rise in crime, gondaism and quotation gangs; endemic corruption - the list goes on.
There seems to be convergence of opinion by teens all over on such dangerous issues as dating and premarital sex. Hence it does not make much difference whether one raises one’s children here in India or abroad. At least in America, Europe and Singapore those problems mentioned above are minimal compared to Kerala.
The Catholic Church has always considered sex to be permissible only within legitimate marriage solely for continuing the human race. St.Paul, founder of the Catholic Church and the greatest of saints allowed sex to happen between legitimate married couples only and that too in the extreme case of hormones going berserk. So this premarital hanky-panky is totally out of line with what the church has been teaching for the past 2000 years. Our wayward youth must be reminded about this teaching of the church through all available avenues – Sunday homilies, catechism classes and our official publications.
The original migration in 345AD took place under the leadership of a layman, Saint (according to our Jacobite brethren) Knayi Thomma with the Bishop of Uruha accompanying him to take care of the spiritual needs of the migrants. Given the changed circumstances, the reverse migration is going to be led by the spiritual leadership, headed by the hierarchy of the Community, with the sycophantic lay leadership bearing the luggage and singing praise songs. (One is reminded of Livingstone exploratory journeys of Africa with the natives carrying the provisions.)
This Jubilee year is a good time to officially inaugurate the reverse migration. It can be added as an additional item on the agenda of the various committees already in existence to take care of the celebrations. E.g. the ‘transportation committee’ can investigate the ways and means of getting the cheapest air tickets for the largest number; the VIP accommodation committee can also be tasked to find ways and means to accommodate the arriving reverse immigrants temporarily until they can be settled permanently.
I have already started encouraging my son to look for a job overseas and do a reverse migration.
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